Saturday, February 13, 2010

I slit my WRIST

Well I almost did if only that stinking butter knife was sharper!! So this Valentines Day weekend all my single fabulous friends decided to do an ANTI Valentines dinner..for $30 bucks you would get a steak and shrimp dinner and a show (some retro band)...So of course I decided to get all Sex and the City Fashion *Urban Edition* cuz you know your girl got some flava *duhhh* And I was feeling preety good that night..hair was teased *wink* make up on point..new lashes that I absoultely love! Here is the look.... I should have gotten a hint when I saw a room full of 60 year and older people hovering around....the smell of bengay...the unlimited supply of liver spots..or the fact that 60 percent of the people there needed a wheelchair..cane..or a nurse to move about! *ok so I might be exagerrating just a bit..but it was bad..I felt like I was at a Geriatric convention..and perfect for me right Im wearing white(just like a nurse) *oh please God dont let one of these people ask me to take them to go change their diaper* Seriously walking in a ballroom being stared down by everyone.. gasp...look at her porno hair...eeeek..tittays all out.....agh...ass like wha??..drag queen makeup...WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!!!.......A BAD BETCH THATS WHO SUKKAS! lol...Ok so my lovely friend "forgets" to mention that her sister would be joining us (let me point out that I adore her family! each and everyone) so this was cool with me except for the fact that she brought her BOYFRIEND!!!! (picture below..me trying to slit my wrist with a butter knife!)
WHAT...the outrage...the audacity...Here I am thinkin we would be loud and obnoxious..make fun of lovey dovey couples and blab about how fabulous it is to be SINGLE *ehhhhh*..but nope...as they walked us to our table (because we were all going to sit together!) I was thinkin ok..hey make the best of this situation..but that soon changed because literally before my ass hit the seat I was assaulted with "No baby I love you".."Noooo I love you more".."No, I love you!".."No I DO!!!"....*in my mind im thinking please God let this be over soon..let them get the I love you's over with and move on!* God wasnt listening last night....Because it was followed by intemittent kisses..and not just any kiss but those ANNOYINGLY loud butterfly smack kisses like you do when you Dont know how to kisS....SERIOUSLY TONGUE HER DOWN, SQUEEZE A BOOB, AND GET IT OVER WITH!! I dont need to be hearing all this smuckering before the appetizer!! AGHHHH..her sister is a sweetheart and her boyfriend is a cutie..but really!...SERIOSULY!!!! and I was the lucky one that got to sit right in front of them! (picture below me kissing my hunny bunny...her identity has been withheld due to her choice of lameness..I must protect her identity because of the AWFUL choice she made last night when choosing where we would spend our ANTI VDAY DINNER...her life would be in danger!!!! lmao)
...needless to say our 7pm dinner turned into 10 pm!!!!COLD dinner...but as if the cold steak..over boiled veggies..and mashed potatos werent enough..we did get to enjoy a watered down salad with ranch dressing that was so watery it sogged our lettuce beyond recognition before our fabulous dinner...AGHHHHHH... Did I mention that the "band" didnt show up until 10pm!..(on a good note they sounded amazing..think Frank Sinatra..Rat Pack...Kind of feel..like The club in the MASK movie with Jim Carrey) Although I would have stayed forever I had to go (not that I wanted to leave my cold dinner or the overly lovey dovey vomit inducing couple) I had promised my daughter that I would see her before she went to bed...So I left..But on a good note I did have fun because I was with my friends! and they were all looking on point..Nats titays overflowing in that leopard bra and twinzies green eyes were as always mesmerizing (Blicious lucked out..she didnt go..DAMN YOU B!!!!) lol...to top it off I got to deal with Traffic at 10 pm!!! *ahhhh Los Angeles*..Luckily my daughter had not gone to sleep and I was able to spend some time with her and give her my valentines day present (since I am working this weekend)....I realized that no matter what I have a guaranteed valentine for the next 50 some years!!! My lil princess T!!!

26 comments:

  1. Glad I came across your blog, your makeup is awesome and you've been cracking me up!

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  2. Wow, aren't you gorgeous? Love your hair and your "tittays" (not being creepy, I just wish that I could overflow, too). Thanks for your comment on my blog! I'd love to do your nails cuz I know you'd rock them.

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  3. Haha...Your post title is so intense, I was like "Uh Oh..oh no!!" and then I began reading your post and I must admit, you gave me a good giggle :)

    Your makeup looks fab!

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  4. Hahahahahaha your post seriously cracked me up. I hope your wrist is ok ;]

    P.S. I can't stand it when couples get all 'PDA' either. It's like, GET A MOTEL ROOM ALREADY!!!

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  5. U r rocking it .. in those pics =)

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  6. omg this pose had me DYING. you look so pretty!

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  7. @I bleed pink..thanks hun, Im glad I can amuse the fabulous girls out there :)

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  8. @makeup mama OMG your the cutest I swear!! overflow hun can be done with a wonder bra :) and a tight top :) instant pamela anderson type tittays lol!!!

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  9. @ love sweetcheeks aww you look so preety!!!thanks for commenting my blog...I couldnt decide...slit my wrist or hang myself...at dinner I saw a knife and instantly thought SLIT WRIST lol...lack of option ;)

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  10. @GLITTEREYESXX you are the cutest thing! like a polly pocket.. I wanna keep you :) lol...my wrist are ok ;)(thanks 4 asking) but the emotional scar is still there!! lol
    p.s PDA is obnoxious!!!! really I dont need to hear you making a baby during dinner!! lol

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  11. @Amandita..thanks for the compliment hun!

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  12. @Christina Barbieluvsmac thanks for commenting.. Im glad you got a good laugh out of my miserable-ness (is that even a word) lmao...

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  13. I dont think shes really biting M.I.A cuz they music dosnt really sound the same. I think shes just trying to go with that indie pattens and stuff to represent her culture. I think a lot of people are inspired by others, and want to try something of the own, but im not sure if she is directly copying her. The Hard video was so dope! I loveddddd all her outfits.
    Thanks for the compliments on the nails. If you go back a few pages you can see some of my other work, or if you click on the tag "nail art" it should bring up all my posts.
    Spread the word sexay lady! Im hoping to turn this into a buisness! Keep up the amazing writing! Love it! Im a permanent follower!
    Thanks for writing back. Keep in touch. ;-)

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  14. Thanks! I live in Chicago. You?
    I havnt tried KONAD yet, but I was looking into it. Looks like you can do some pretty nice designs using the KONAD. Ive watched some videos.
    Do you have natural nails or acrylic/gel? Minx is suppose to last to about 2 weeks. They dont chip, but may start to peel off in the corner. If it peels off in a corner you can just put it under a heat lamp to reseal the minx. Do you also use a top coat? I use Seche Vite top coat, which is pretty good at sealing and creating shine. I've never had peeling on arcylics/gels, but sometime when I'm rockin my nautral nails the paint can chip. Dont put your paint on thick. Your coats should be thin, the first coat you may be able to see the nail underneath, or wont have the color you want, but by the time you do the second coat, you should have your desired color.
    To be honest, I am not a nail tech YET. I still have to take classes, which I'm looking into now so that I can start to make this legit.
    :-)
    Your pretty bad ass yourself!

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  15. I just commented you back abut how to prevent chipping, and about minx. Did it post? i cant remember if i confirmed with the word coder thingie mabobber. hahaha!

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  16. damn ive always love your makeup looks and I wish i can do my hair like yours :/ Im so lazy when it comes to my hair. By the way , this post made me laugh lol. Bengay LOL

    thanks for the bday greeting :)

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  17. Sorry, mama. I'm in Vancouver, home of the current olympics. I'm actually thinking of getting certified soon so if I'm in Cali I'll give you a shout. Thanks :)

    Oh and tittays don't flow the same when you've had 2 kids...they flow downwards. HA! I'd need like 4 or 5 wonderbras. And they'd be working overtime.

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  18. You're so funny girl!
    I love your makeup. You look gorgeous! Would you ever do tutorials?
    Yah, I'm not into Valentine's day either. It can be exclusive and I think it's over rated personally. I spent the day with family which was nice and that's so nice you spent some time with your daughter :)
    I think your daugther would love sea monkeys! Kids get a kick out of hatching the eggs and they are low maintenance (key word! LOL). Fish require changing water and stuff - sea monkeys you never have to change or clean the water. Just feed every 3 days and leave em ;)

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  19. Hahahaha, I've never been called a "Polly Pocket". I shall take that as a compliment, girl! I looooved those toys as a kid :p

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  20. @EVERYDAY MAKEUP WITH BECKY looks like you had an amazing Love Day (at least one of us did lmao) thanks for always being so sweet ! and gurl you know my hair looks good cuz its what they call a WEAVE!!! it does wonders :) lol

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  21. @makeup mama Vancouver ayyy (damn!) I might have to do a kidnapping soon lol..if you ever do come to cali though it would be bad ass to get my nails done!! I swear everytime I see these pictures I think YUM!!! so cute!...and I kid you not once I had my daughter my boobs went to the D's!!! agh

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  22. @karen oh by the way the gold fish died!! WTF..I spent like 30 bucks on a bowl and cute lil crystals for decoration..and the little shit died!!!! I wonder if I can return a corpse to petsmart? hmmmm might have to try that out!

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  23. Arg! You lucky betch! lol. I was a C before and now I'm a small B. Boo! I got shafted.

    I was in Cali just before Christmas. Love it there...I was sweating in tank tops and everyone was in turtlenecks. Everyone was looking at me funny...I'm from Canada! I was hot dammit!! You can kidnap me anytime. I love Cali!

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  24. @glittereyesxx Oh me calling you a polly pocket was def a compliment...meaning I want to put in my pocket and take you everywhere because you so cute!!! lol (ewww thats sounds borderline creepy lesbo!) lmao

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  25. omg this post is hilarious. you poor thing! old people and overly kissy couples? i would have tried to slit my wrist too and if that didn't work i'd just get ridiculously drunk.

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